No one likes to talk about this particular sphere of gridlock in American public life anymore, but let's rehash it for old time's sake: Why can't we try terrorism suspects in U.S. criminal courts instead of Guantanamo military commissions?

Because they're all terrorists, duh. Obama would let them run free, in your backyard. And in the rare event of a conviction, they would just use their magical powers to escape from American confinement — assuming they don't go all Con Air on the flight from Cuba to begin with, which they will. But the main reason we can't try terrorists here is best exemplified by Casey Anthony, the Florida gal whose local murder trial was big national teevee news.

The jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of murdering her little daughter, even though millions of people who casually followed the case on dramatized cable news programs knew better. And according to Sen. Mitch McConnell on Fox News yesterday, the jury's inability to put this lady in the slammer is yet another example of why we must preserve our system of secret trials for terrorism suspects at a medieval offshore penal colony:


Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) suggested on Sunday that an Orlando jury's surprising decision to acquit Casey Anthony of charges of murdering her two-year-old daughter demonstrates that it could be difficult to convict accused terrorists in civilian courts.

"These are not American citizens," McConnell said, referring to accused terrorists. "We just found with the Caylee Anthony case how difficult it is to get a conviction in a U.S. court."

Wait until Mitch McConnell hears about how hard it is to get a conviction in a Guantanmo military commission!