Prison is horrible, as everyone knows, but it's not all bad: If you play your cards right you can get paid to receive blowjobs! From a 70-year-old chaplain. But still! Blowjobs!
Frank DeTucci, who's been a prison chaplain in the New York correctional system for 27 years (and is a deacon at a church in Astoria), was caught when guards "spotted him kneeling Sunday in front of [a] prisoner" at the Queensboro Correctional facility. He had $200 in his shoe and $153 in his wallet, and later admitted to paying the same inmate $120 and $150 to perform oral sex on him on two separate occasions.
He's been charged with "official misconduct, engaging in a criminal sex act and sexual misconduct," and could spend four years in prison. Hopefully he'll have a spiritual guide half as kind as he himself was!