Today is an exciting day, because we've discovered that there is a silver lining to these excruciating debt ceiling negotiations that can serve as a palliative for our fatalist misery and depression.
Several news outlets have reported in the past few days about the angry outbursts from debt ceiling negotiators during their private meetings. It's probably the case that none of these staffer-"leaked" lines intended to fluff one's boss were ever really uttered. But who cares? Let's look at some of the bitchy, stage-managed outbursts thus far.
- Joe Biden to Republican negotiators: "C'mon, man! Let's get real!" This shrewd argument does not appear to have done the trick.
- John Boehner to Barack Obama: "Excuse us for trying to lead." What's not reported is whether he sarcastically stretched out the second syllable in "Excuuuuuuuse" while waving his hands in the air.
- Barack Obama to John Boehner: "I'm not going to take money from old people and screw students." You're not? It's a fine, albeit somewhat risky, way to make your Saturday night worthwhile. Oh nevermind, he is talking about federal deficit reduction options.
- John Boehner to the House Republican caucus: I'm "pissed" at the president's insistence on tax increases for a "grand bargain" plan. Which is interesting, since he's the one who brought up the possibility of $1 trillion in new revenues in the first place.
- Barack Obama to Eric Cantor: Go learn the definition of "shared sacrifice." There was a dictionary on hand, but Eric Cantor is (sadly) illiterate.
Who knew that top-level White House negotiations used the same dumb language as every single Twitter flamewar about this?
[Image via AP]