Netflix Prices Skyrocket

Your new boyfriend Netflix just became more like your ex, the evil cable company, jacking up rates 60 percent on one popular plan and spinning it as a big boon to consumers. He's just daring you to dump him.

If you're on Netflix's one DVD per month plus streaming plan, your rate will go to $16 from $10; if you currently get two DVDs plus streaming, your rate will go to $20 from $15. Those are Netflix's two most popular plans, getting hiked 60 and 33 percent respectively. The company is now charging separately for streaming and DVD-by-mail plans, so if you're on the $8 streaming only plan, you're fine, and if you're a Luddite who never streams you'll actually see a price cut, which is how Netflix is able to brag about offering its "lowest prices ever" three times in its announcement of this massive price increase. Neat trick, and perfectly suited to a company that pulls sleazebag moves like hiring fake enthusiastic customers.

You're a manipulative greaseball pig, Netflix. We're this close to kicking you off the couch and out of our lives permanently right now! But you know we won't. You know we can't bring ourselves to. We'll resent you. We might ditch out platonic friendship with DVD now that you've made us pay a dear price for that relationship. But we'll crawl back, like we always do. Bastard.

[Photo via Getty]