We know where Michele Bachmann stands on heterosexuality: She's very for it! At least according to the binding contract she recently signed with Jesus, in which marriage was explicitly defined as being "between one man and one woman." We also know where her husband, Marcus Bachmann, falls on the topic of homosexuality: He's firmly against it! So against, in fact, that he runs a small gay exorcism business, despite he himself being seemingly possessed by the demonic spirit of an off-duty drag queen named Big Mama. But where does Mrs. Bachmann stand on homosexuality?
Well, thanks to a lecture she delivered to the National Education Leadership Conference back in 2004 that's currently making the rounds, we now know exactly what her thoughts are on The Gays.
Michele on Satan's involvement in homosexuality:
"We need to have profound compassion for the people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life, and sexual identity disorders. This is a very real issue. It's not funny, it's sad. Any of you who have members of your family that are in the lifestyle-we have a member of our family that is. This is not funny. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say this is gay. It's anything but gay."
Michele on gay bondage and enslavement (but not in the fun way):
"It leads to the personal enslavement of individuals. Because if you're involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it's bondage. Personal bondage, personal despair, and personal enslavement. And that's why this is so dangerous."
Michele on the good old days when a gay on TV was there for you to laugh at:
"[Gay activists want to] make gays look good, because [the media] didn't always. If you'll recall television maybe 15, 20 years ago, if you'd see something about gays it would be an outlandish kind of an outfit, it would be a kind of tittering, making fun. But that's different now. Now gays are made to look good."
Michele on Fred "God Hates Fags" Phelps:
"I almost think that the gay community has hired this guy, or created this guy, to do what he does. He is their best friend."
Michele on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and double standards:
"This has really become a mainstream show. It's very popular with the make-over theme. They take style-challenged straight men who need the help of a fashionably superior gay man, in some sort of a cross between This Old House meets a pre-incarcerated Martha Stewart. [...] But tell a gay man that he should change and that is considered homophobic blasphemy."
Michele on Matthew Shepard coverage and double standards:
"Have you noticed that the media is very selective in its compassion? At the very same time that Matthew Shepherd was tragically killed, there was a case of another young boy-you may have heard about him. His name was Jesse Dirkheisen [sic] -that little boy, he was 12 years old. He was kidnapped, he was brutally raped, he was murdered by two gay men. This occurred the same week as Matthew Shepherd. We heard a lot about Matthew Shepherd. We heard almost nothing about little Jesse Dirkheisen [sic]. Why? Because Jesse did not serve the purpose of those sympathetic to homosexuality." [The 12-year-old's name was Jesse Dirkhising.]
Related: Marcus Bachmann's Big Gay Mess