Harvard Experts Suggest Rounding Up All Fat Kids and Putting Them in Foster Care

A new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association proposes taking obese children away from their parents until their weight can be brought under control.

Harvard health experts Lindsey Murtagh and David S. Ludwig don't think that the kids should be taken for good, but with the goal of reuniting the family unit as soon as possible after the kids have learned to not eat Cheetos all day and lie around the house and the parents have learned a thing or two about keeping their kids healthy. I have an even better idea: How about we just take them all to somewhere nice, like a farm upstate with lots of room to run around. We're sure if they had that, they'd be skinny in no time, right?

Childhood obesity is an awful problem, sure. But this is in no way the solution. Well, it might be, but there's no way this is ever going to fly. Not only is there the issue of who would pay for it in this cash-strapped nation of ours, but could you imagine what would happen if the foster care system started coming for people's kids cause they were fat? There would be rioting in the streets. So, let's look down from the ivory tower and find a more practical solution.

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