Grocery Clerk Indicted For Putting Semen in Yogurt Samples

Anthony Garcia, a 32-year-old grocery clerk from Albuquerque, will be indicted Friday for having talked a Sunflower Market customer last January into eating a yogurt sample. But this was not just a yogurt sample.

From The Smoking Gun:

According to a police report, the female victim told cops that she was shopping with her daughter at the Sunflower Farmers Market when she was approached by a "pushy" Garcia offering her the yogurt sample. After tasting the yogurt, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted "gross and disgusting" and, cops noted, "said it tasted like β€˜semen.'"

DNA testing later proved the yogurt contained his semen. Ewwwww. Hold me, Jamie Lee Curtis.

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Federal agents say Garcia has a long history of sex crimes, including a 2001 incident in which he was caught masturbating outside an apartment complex and middle school. In 2004, he was arrested for wandering around a Wal-Mart with his penis "hanging out of his pants." As recently as last September, a jogger said he exposed himself to her. He also has a pending child molestation charge, KRQE reports. Prosecutors want him locked up for good.

As for the whereabouts of Gloria Allred β€” the world's foremost legal authority on surreptitiously slipped semen law β€” in all of this, as of post time she remains conspicuously absent from the proceedings. [Mugshot via KRQE]