Anthony Garcia, a 32-year-old grocery clerk from Albuquerque, will be indicted Friday for having talked a Sunflower Market customer last January into eating a yogurt sample. But this was not just a yogurt sample.
According to a police report, the female victim told cops that she was shopping with her daughter at the Sunflower Farmers Market when she was approached by a "pushy" Garcia offering her the yogurt sample. After tasting the yogurt, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted "gross and disgusting" and, cops noted, "said it tasted like ‘semen.'"
DNA testing later proved the yogurt contained his semen. Ewwwww. Hold me, Jamie Lee Curtis.
Federal agents say Garcia has a long history of sex crimes, including a 2001 incident in which he was caught masturbating outside an apartment complex and middle school. In 2004, he was arrested for wandering around a Wal-Mart with his penis "hanging out of his pants." As recently as last September, a jogger said he exposed himself to her. He also has a pending child molestation charge, KRQE reports. Prosecutors want him locked up for good.
As for the whereabouts of Gloria Allred — the world's foremost legal authority on surreptitiously slipped semen law — in all of this, as of post time she remains conspicuously absent from the proceedings. [Mugshot via KRQE]