Carla Bruni: Oui, I'm PregnantS

Just in case you feared the giant swell in her belly was a tumor, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy has finally confirmed her pregnancy. The French first lady and anal play enthusiast says she doesn't know the gender, and did not specify how many months along she is. Tabloids speculate her fetus is a week or two shy of six months. I'm not sure how they reached such a specific date, but suspect it had something to do with a hacked cellphone hidden under a mattress. Unless Nicolas Sarkozy's sympathy bump gave it away. [People, image via Getty]