What with all the headlines about financial markets behaving like drunk girls, it seems appropriate to update you on the very latest state of the global econometric system. To wit:
- Stock markets are down.
- Because everyone's worried about Europe's unsustainable massive deadly disastrous pile of debt.
- Gold hit a new high today! That's how you know shit is fucked up.
- And don't even get us started on the looming student loan default disaster.
- The culprit? The villain? The reason for all of our pain and trouble? You, the consumer.
I hope you're happy.