The deadline for raising the debt ceiling—after which the U.S. is likely to default—is August 2. President Obama's birthday is August 4. Coincidence? Not according to America's stupidest congressman, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R - Texas)!
"[W]e find out the president has a big birthday bash scheduled for August the 3rd, celebrities flying in from all over," Gohmert told Newsmax TV yesterday. "And lo and behold, August 2nd is the deadline for getting something done so he can have this massive, the biggest fundraising dinner in history for a birthday celebration." That's right: This whole "idiot Republicans are taking the world economy to the brink of financial ruin" ferrago is just a way for Obama to raise money... from celebrities. "Isn't that amazing?" Gohmert wonders. "The timing of this?"
It is amazing! But it's not the first amazing thing Gohmert has discovered during his time in the House. Here are some of the other rabbit holes Louie Gohmert has gone down during his time as the Fox Mulder of the 112th United States Congress:
- The Nazi Escrow Fund Incident, in which Congressman Louie, with the help of conservative commentator Thomas Sowell, follows the trail of the $20 million B.P. escrow fund to find that his old nemesis Barack Obama is actually Hitler in disguise!
- The Terrorist Anchor Babies Incident, in which Congressman Louie uncovers the hidden al Qaeda plot to smuggle pregnant terrorists into the U.S. in order to create secret U.S.-citizen-terror babies. (Guest starring Anderson Cooper)
- The Libya Affair, in which Congressman Louie thwarts his archenemy Barack Obama's attempt to create a private health-care army by killing off the real U.S. Army in Libya.
- The Curious Case of Democracy, in which Congressman Louie discovers the oldest and deepest liberal conspiracy of them all: The direct election of Senators.