Mankini Motorcyclist Just 'Beatin' the Heat'

Besides biting zookeepers so that the police kill you, and eating frozen mealworm novelties, what are the most effective ways to beat the heat? Well, I don't personally know of any other methods besides those two, sorry. But St. Louis motorcyclist Jacob Southard seems to have adopted a winning coolness-keeping strategy, and it's even making him micro-famous!

Southard's been wearing his fanciest neon green mankini during his motorcycle commutes around town, and getting all kinds of attention that way. From the side, he looks naked—from the back, he looks like Borat. Though his wife is embarrassed by his look, and his mom doesn't like it at all, other motorists on the highways seem to be delighting in his near-nude appearance—laughing heartily when he whizzes past them on his bike, and sometimes taking his photo. His boss also approves: "Yeah, she actually took a picture going down the highway...and texted me, said, 'you're a freak!,'" he told one of the local news stations down there.

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It's kinda funny that the news station is fuzzing out Southard's crotch, given that his mankini totally covers him up where it counts. From the frontal perspective, there's no difference between what he's wearing and a Speedo. Does St. Louis prohibit skimpy swimwear on men? Given that mankinis are legal—Southard wisely checked!—it doesn't sound like it. Let's assume that his wife called the station and requested the fuzzing, and pin the blame on her.

[KPLR]