Mariah Carey hasn't been seen much since giving birth to twins in April, so people were especially curious on Sunday night ahead of her appearance on HSN to hawk everything from her fragrances to her jewelry. And by God, she delivered.

Carey's live sales pitch began at midnight and lasted two inexplicably mind-blowing hours. In tangent after tangent, she complained about how horrible her pregnancy was, barked out orders to the camera crew, made up new words—basically, anything but try to sell her designs.

Because nobody should be deprived of a chance to experience it, I've edited Carey's entire appearance down to the most memorable four minutes, video of which appears above.

And when you're done, be sure to check out this epic supercut video from Rich Juzwiak that features Carey saying the word "love" on air no less than 71 times.