At first glance this story seems pretty straight forward in the crazy sense: A 63-year-old Los Angeles man who was suffering from a protruding stomach hernia decided he couldn't wait any longer for surgery so he tried to remove it himself. But instead of at least using a sharp object to cut himself open, the man used a butter knife. Shockingly, it didn't work and his wife freaked out and called police. Here's where it gets really good:
When [police] arrived, they found the man naked and lying on his lounge chair in the patio area of his home.
The handle of the knife was sticking out of his stomach, Lorenz said.
While officers waited for paramedics to arrive, the man pulled out the knife and stuck a cigarette inside the open wound. He was then taken into custody.
We salute you, naked old crazy man.