Today we heard the relieving news that the Central Park peacock is back where he belongs. Everyone was happy about that! Well, OK, not everyone. Some lesser birds were pretty pissed off.
From OMG! Ponies!:
Can you believe that shit, Charlie?
That fucking peacock! That ain't even his main fucking residence. That fucker has a $24 million pied-a-terre. That's what I fucking thought! Fucking queer ass peacock with a queer ass apartment with a queer ass French name. I fucking hate those peacocks.
HEY ASSHOLE! YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU! YOU FUCKING OWE ME MONEY, MOTHERFUCKER! I BAILED YOUR ASS OUT!
Look at that fucking smug-ass hedge-fund managing peacock. You know what the difference between him and that Madoff fuck is? Madoff got caught. That hedge-fund fucker fucks up the economy and us stiffs gotta pay for it. And he's living the high life and we're living wing to beak. Fuck him! That fucker probably sits around his fancy Central Park penthouse all day thinking of ways to fuck us.
YOU GONNA TRY TO FUCK US, ASSHOLE? BECAUSE I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S NEST THAT I WILL BEAT YOU HARD AND FUCK YOU SILLY, PEACOCK!
I don't fucking get this system, Charlie. I work all fucking day and then bar-back at night so I don't get kicked out of my shitty-ass nest in Corona and that fucker has life handed to him in a fucking gilded cage. What the fuck?
You know what I heard? I heard that not only did NBC not pay any fucking tax, the fucking government paid NBC back a refund. That fucker has my fucking tax dollars.
HEY SHITHEAD! I WANT MY TAX MONEY BACK! AND I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF FUCKING CENTRAL PARK! MY TAXES PAID FOR YOUR PENTHOUSE, ASSHOLE!
Why the fuck is that peacock even up here? What - is Chelsea not good enough for him? I bet that fucker has Robert Fucking DeNiro deliver him Nobu sushi every fucking day. I wouldn't be surprised one bit if that happened. And what do we eat? Shitty ass crumbs and crappy old pretzels. That fucker eats sushi.
You'd better hold me back, Charlie. I've got half a mind to go to Central Park and bash that fucking peacock's beak right in!
I'M COMING FOR YOU, YOU FUCKING PEACOCK! I'M GOING TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THAT FANCY FUCKING TAIL OF YOURS!
[Image via Shutterstock]