Why did the chicken cross the road? For eons, philosophers have debated the question, because that is philosophers' idea of a "funny" riff on their own weighty profession, which is why most philosophers are not "chick magnets." Well, we're happy to report that the question has finally been answered.
In a paper published in the Bertrand Russell Society Bulletin (PDF), Tim Madigan of St. John Fisher College analyzes Bertrand Russell's writings on the game of "Chicken," and—far more importantly, for our purposes—he lays to rest once and for all the age-old question of poultry's street-crossing habits. So: Why did (Bertrand Russell's) chicken cross the road?
"Because he finally understood induction, and got the hell away from the farmer about to wring his neck."
Hahaha! Let us never speak of this joke again, philosophers. This has been your biannual "Philosophy meets pop culture" post.