What's Opening in Theaters This Weekend

It's a pretty quiet weekend at the multiplex, with only a few films opening an—Oh god! Apes! Everywhere, apes! Talking, tool-using apes! Run! To your local movie theater!

Bellflower

Two young people living in a rotten corner of LA meet and hook up in this well-reviewed Sundance hit about male impulse and souped-up cars. The film's star/writer/director made this thing for only $17,000, but we can bet his next project will have a significantly larger budget, if the hype on this one is to be believed. (NY & LA)


The Change-Up

Two bros — one fancy free and fuckin' a lot, the other trapped with a wife and children and all that miserable castrating shit — are jealous of each other's lives and so they pee into a water fountain and it's magic so they switch bodies. It's basically Freaky Friday if Jodie Foster fucked a lot. (Wide)


Gun Hill Road

This Bronx tale tells the story of a man (Esai Morales) who just got out of jail only to go home to his wife (Judy Reyes) and son and find out that sonny boy has become, well, a daughter. Transsexual actress Harmony Santana makes her acting debut in what looks like an interesting take on the old gets-out-of-prison movie. (NY & LA)


Magic Trip

This documentary sheds some light on Ken Kesey and the wacky road trip across America that he and his Merry Pranksters took back in 1964. It's essentially about the beginning of 1960s free-thinking, meaning it's a document of when everything just went straight all to hell. Used to be a man wore slacks and went to work and his wife cooked red meat and played bridge. Now you've got ladyboys up in the Bronx and people pissing in the water fountains. Thanks a lot, Kesey. (Limited)


Mysteries of Lisbon

This Chilean-directed, Portugal-set period drama was originally a six-hour television miniseries for European television, but it's been cut down to four and a half hours for the big screen. There's an intermission and everything! It's apparently quite good, a twisty time-bending kind of thing, so maybe the time commitment is worth it. (NY)


The Perfect Age of Rock 'n' Roll

The kid from Air Bud plays a glam-ish rock star in this movie about... About... I'm sorry, I know it's about something, and I should tell you what that something is, but I can't really get past the kid from Air Bud as a long-haired, eyelinered rock star. Where's that dog to tell him this is a bad idea? Air Bud: Actor Intervention. Make that movie, Canadian Hollywood! (Limited)


Rise of the Planet of the Apes

James Franco makes all the apes smart and they rebel and eventually kill or enslave us all and then Charlton Heston yells at them. So, it's an origin story. One thing about this: As has been pointed out, where are all these apes coming from? Why are there so very many apes in San Francisco? Maybe that will be explained, but maybe it also won't be? It just seems like a lot of apes in one city at one time, doesn't it? Pretty convenient, apes. (Wide)


The Whistleblower

The always likable Rachel Weisz stars in this real-life drama about a UN contractor who risks life and livelihood to expose sex trafficking within UN contractor ranks. So it's a stern, serious, earnest kind of thing that you Should see but maybe don't Want to see. It'll be on HBO eventually, right? We'll all just watch it then. Yeah, we'll watch it then. (Limited)