Monday got you feeling down? Here's some natural, ultra-refreshing schadenfreude to perk you up: That overpriced coconut water your health-nut friends have been chugging is basically just gross-tasting sugar water.
Vita Coco, the most popular brand of this drinkable Sunday Styles trend piece, boasts on its website that it is "nutrient-packed" and "mega-electrolyte." But a study by Consumerlab.com found that the amount of electrolytes in Vita Coco was from 35%-82% lower than its nutrition label suggested—not enough to actually help you rehydrate. Which means, coconut water is essentially sugar water with bits of coconut floating it.
What will it take for coconut water fanatics to realize the main innovation of coconut water—like faux-healthy beverages Vitaminwater and Pom before it—is a marketing trick to make water + sugar appear more healthy than just plain old water? Bikram yoga practitioners collapsing outside their studios after mistakenly believing they were replenishing their electrolytes with gallons of coconut water? All of Vita Coco spokeswoman Rihanna's teeth rotting and falling out?
But I just like the taste! diehards will say, before walking around the corner to secretly spit out their coconut water, cause you kow it tastes like the viscous brown liquid that's squeezed out of an NFL player's socks after an especially brutal game.
The next time one of these celebrity-backed miracle health tonics sweeps the nation, just remember: People once thought Coke was really healthy, too.