Most college freshmen only find it necessary to be mortified by their roommate, their room decorations, their dorm mates, the difficulty of the classes, their struggles with newfound freedom, their all-too-frequent intoxication, and the overwhelming sense of being a lost and anonymous soul in a brand new environment in which nobody loves them. Now, at least one school is working to ensure that they're also mortified by their own lack of physical fitness. Progress!
Inside Higher Ed reports that Coker College in South Carolina is making all freshmen take a "fitness assessment," and when that proves that none of them can do 20 pushups, they will... I don't know, be less deluded about their own chances in this cruel world, I guess, and then sign up for a Zumba class. Don't complain, kids—this was the nice option.
At one point officials considered installing scales in the dorms or setting up weigh stations elsewhere on campus, but, with eating disorders becoming an ever-increasing health issue among students, they nixed that idea.
Oh? Hmm, I don't see what the problem is with setting up "weigh stations" on campus so that students must stop off and have their rolling girths constantly and publicly checked and verified like so many lard-laden semi trucks cruising down the "highways" of higher education. This is South Carolina, after all.