If you've eaten at the Olive Garden in Fayetteville, North Carolina, you probably have hepatitis, that's just science. After an employee tested positive for Hepatitis A, hundreds of panicked former customers descended upon the local healthcare clinic for vaccination.

The Fayetteville Olive Garden, which apparently does about 800 covers a day, has seen a steep and understandable decline in business as local residents' peaceful illusions of health and safety are shattered:

"It just makes you realize how people aren't that clean," said 23-year-old Leigh-Anne Holland, who ate at Olive Garden on July 31. "It can happen anywhere."

It really can. You can probably get hepatitis at any chain restaurant, anywhere. It's just the way of the world.

The poor employee who started this scare — 500 vaccinated so far — has been told to stay home from work until a doctor says it's OK to return. But, really, if you're that employee? No, I don't think you're ever going back. How could you live this down?

Meanwhile, Leigh-Anne Holland is staring out a window somewhere, suddenly so aware of how fragile our existences are. She now hopes to move to Atlanta to live with her gay cousin Ricky and really experience life. We wish her luck. [Fayetteville Observer via Grub Street; photo of a random Olive Garden via scottschrantz/Flickr]