Devastating Anomie of Modern Life Cured by Velveeta Cheesy Skillets

Velveeta™ brand products are much like America itself: chemical-laden, unnaturally orange, and composed primarily of Cheez. So it's unsurprising that Velveeta convenient meals division brand manager Adam Grablick's comment on the process of chemically concocting, packaging, rolling out, and promoting the new Velveeta Cheesy Skillets would serve to crystallize the fundamental hopelessness that has overtaken us as a people more clearly than anything else.

"Our consumer doesn't want to be slaving away in the kitchen, but she may not feel great about just pulling something out of the freezer and putting it in the microwave," Mr. Grablick said. "She wants the meal to be hands-on, and for the meal to come from her hands and her heart."

It will be much more painless if you just accept it.

[NYT, photo via Facebook]