Today, while regarding a gross bodily fluid airplane story, a commenter told us a commuting tale of such extreme horror that we're inclined to believe it's not true. Weigh in for yourself. If it's real, holy shit.
I was on the Market-Frankford line in Philly when I was in college. I had to be at school extra early because some genius decided that 7:30 AM was an appropriate time to take a final exam in Bio-Chemistry. It was really frickin' cold out and as I'm sitting on the train, this homeless woman gets on. She's naked from the waist down but covered by this poncho thing (might have been a sack, I dunno). She's standing there shivering even though the train is sweltering and smells like moldy gym socks.
She was holding on to an upright with both hands and legs spread like she was going to drop an epic deuce right there. Little did I know! Then she gets real wide eyed and starts growling or "grrr-ing" but like she's whispering. She shakes a bit and then this ocean of effluence rockets out her lady parts and this deformed fetus hits the deck.
There she is, with this dead baby on the umbilical cord stretched out from her lady parts and she start's looking around at everyone staring at her. Then she starts shouting "WHAT THE F&*# IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?" A couple seconds later, the train pulls in to the Suburban Station station and she bolts out the door. The umbilical cord snapped and all the fun stuff was left there on the floor of the train.
They shut that train down and I had to run 14 blocks, in 15 degree weather, in the dark at 6:45 AM to the lecture hall to make my final exam in time.
That image is forever burned in my memory.
I passed that class though.