Look at Charlie the macaque up there. Doesn't he look terrified? Confused? Distraught? He should be. That sweet-looking little girl, 8-year-old Tayce Nickel, has all but administered the lethal injection that will stop the rapid beating of his tiny, simian heart. In return, he probably gave her herpes.
Visiting a Missouri Wal-Mart for her back-to-school haircut, Tayce spotted Charlie in a parked SUV and took off in his direction. That's when a startled Charlie defended himself against the clumsy she-giant lumbering towards him: According to his owner, Tayce entered the vehicle, and a frightened Charlie scratched her in self-defense.
But Tayce's parents say he bit her — and want the macaque confiscated. Charlie remains in quarantine in his owners' home, as per a city ordinance, while a barrage of tests are performed on his blood. Most likely to appear is Herpes Simian B virus, present in up to 90 percent of macaques.
Charlie's owners have already been fined for keeping the animal, which are prohibited in Springfield. [KY3.com, screengrab via KY3]