Financial Markets Collapsing Right on Schedule TodayS

It's Thursday, meaning that the United States financial markets are collapsing again. The Dow is down nearly 400 points already today. Why so negative, everyone with money?

Well, it's foolish to try to speculate on the daily fluctuations of the markets, but it's probably some combination of skittishness over a potentially disastrous looming game of chicken between the U.S. government and ratings agencies, the unstoppable debt-driven downward spiral of the entire European Union, the ceaseless and sure-to-end-poorly skyrocketing of precious metals that possess only notional value, the mindless rush of the panicked herds out of stocks and into stagnant cash holdings, and the settled determination of politically influential factions to pursue incoherent economic policies which will almost surely usher in another—possibly worse—global recession.

Tune in tomorrow to see the stock market gain it all back!

[Photo: AP]