Gwyneth Paltrow accepts responsibility for saving a woman's life on 9/11. Terrorists want to maim David Letterman. Jennifer Hudson is prefers losing weight to winning Oscars. The suicidal Housewives star's family might sue Bravo. Thursday gossip is "deeply moved."
- A "deeply moved" Gwyneth Paltrow has nobly accepted responsibility for saving a woman's life on 9/11. That morning, Lara Lundstrom Clarke was crossing the street when Gwyneth Paltrow almost ran her over with her giant SUV, causing Lara to freeze in her tracks, then miss her train to work at the World Trade Center, thereby causing her to narrowly avoid being in the towers when the planes hit. "At that time I was annoyed at everything that made me late that day, including Gwyneth Paltrow," said Lara, so let this be a lesson: Next time you're annoyed with Gwyneth Paltrow, imagine how Paltrow-related irritations may actually be saving your life, in the manner of an irritating granule of sand turning into a pearl in the mouth of an oyster.
In fact, Gawker's own John Cook has a Gwyneth Paltrow 9/11 savior story. As a young man in New York City, John Cook was dining at a restaurant and saw Gwyneth Paltrow eating at a nearby table. Gwyneth's dinner mate pulled something out of his pocket, causing two quarters to fall out and onto the ground. The man looked at the quarters, then shrugged and returned to the meal, because to him, quarters were not worth the energy it took to bend over and pick them up. A disgusted John Cook decided then and there that he would leave this terrible city where fallen quarters go ignored. Soon thereafter, he moved to Chicago, far away from all 9/11 terror sites. [The Morton Report, People, images via Getty]
- The autopsy report for Russell Armstrong, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills husband, has been released. He hanged himself with an electric cord from the rafers of a friend's guest bedroom. [Us]
- Russell's step-brother says his family is contemplating a lawsuit: "Bravo is at fault and somebody needs to pay. Russell's whole family was very close and they're considering suing Bravo." Meanwhile, Russell's sister is giving interviews about violent incidents from their youth. [Radar, Hollywood Life]
- Meanwhile, Russell's estranged wife Taylor Armstrong (their terrible relationship was a major plot in the TV show) is planning his funeral. [Radar]
- Not only did Kim Kardashian disinvite 50 people from her wedding, but she also has a "strict 'no plus-one' policy." She'll cast the extras by herself, thank you. [P6]
- Speaking of Kim's inescapable wedding extravaganza, it will feature a choreographed first dance. Unsurprising, still annoying. [AccessHollywood]
- An internet jihadi has called upon his brothers to "cut the tongue of the lowly Jew" David Letterman. What an inappropriate statement. Letterman is a Presbyterian. [NYDN]
- Selena Gomez talked mild trash on an ex-boyfriend, maybe Nick Jonas or Taylor Lautner: "I wasn't myself for a year. I think that was really damaging. I felt like it was me who was always trying to be perfect for him. I always dressed nice. I don't think he ever saw me in sweatpants—and I love sweatpants. I dare someone to try and change me again." Does that mean he was a control freak with impossibly high standards? Or just that Selena never got comfortable? I'm not sure my 17-year-old boyfriend saw me in sweatpants either, because we mostly saw each other in relatively public places? [HollywoodLife]
- George Clooney is rebounding from Elisabetta Canalis with pro-wrestler turned Dancing with the Stars contender Stacy Keibler, but now Elisabetta might be going on Dancing with the Stars, so maybe Clooney can rebound from Keibler with Canalis, and we'll have an infinite loop of tacky rhinestones and Clooney? [E!]
- Drew Carey "separated his clavicle after a nasty fall" while jogging. The Price Is Right had to cancel taping, but offered free old-timey popcorn machines to anyone who could guess the price of Drew Carey's deductible. [Us]
- "Is Scott Disick the new Prince Harry?" I'm not sure what that even means, but am confident the answer is "no." [E!]