Here is a trailer for Trespass, no not a reissue of the 1992 Bill Paxton/Ice-T/Ice Cube collaboration, rather a new movie starring Nicole Kidman and Nicolas Cage as a wealthy couple suffering a home invasion. It looks... yikes.

I mean, it's essentially impossible to ever take Nicolas Cage seriously again at this point, right? He's just wandered too far off into the shadow lands of bizarre self-parody to ever come back to the real world. And poor Nicole Kidman has... done things... to her face that just, well, make it not work anymore. So this is an odd pairing! Add to that the fact that the person herding these two weirdos is Joel Schumacher, whose had one of the most bizarre and only fitfully fruitful mainstream directing careers of the past couple decades, and you get a big ol' headscratcher of a movie.

Also, that plot. That terrible, familiar plot. I was of the mind that Michael Haneke had, twice even!, brutally and cruelly beat the home invasion/family-in-peril thriller into bloody submission a couple years ago, but I guess not. I guess we are still making these nasty, voyeuristic movies, so here is another one. Aren't you so worried about this strange bloated warlock and his android wife?? I am so worried about them! And what's in the magic electro-safe?? God only knows. I hope it's a gun and it explodes and the bullets go everywhere and everyone, even you, Cam Gigantic, dies and the movie ends. That would be something.