Today we found out that Rick Perry doesn't bother with the term "intelligent design." It's just good old Creationism for him. And evolution? That's a theory. Just a theory! What else is just a theory? One commenter explained.
If we're going to throw Evolution out the window as "just a theory that's out there", let's just go full on baby-and-bathwater and throw out every scientific theory.
Gravity? Just a theory. I'm proposing a theory of intelligent attraction, where an intelligent force gave us all invisible stretchy bootstraps that keep us from floating into space, that we occasionally pull ourselves up by.
Relativity? Just a theory. I'm proposing a theory of intelligent relations, where there is a possibility that there is an intelligent force making everything in the universe work together.
The Big Bang? Just a theory. I'm proposing a theory of intelligent creation, where an intelligent force somehow willed the universe into existence and started making shit about six thousand years ago.
Plate Tectonics: Just a theory. I'm proposing a theory of intelligent continents, where an intelligent force is just moving shit around for the hell of it.
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