Rick Perry Has Received Five Million Billion Gifts as Governor

Texas is a wonderful place to govern for 11 years, as it turns out: there's no ban on receiving gifts.

Sure, you have to disclose the ones over $250, but who gives a shit? You're getting tons of gifts, all the time. You're Rick Perry, and you're always getting 22 pairs of cowboy boots and tickets to this and that thing. It's great.

If you're Rick Perry, you have a handful of sugar daddies who pay for every fun thing that you do, and all they want are seats on one board or another. A seat on the Board of Regents? Sure, take it, if it means that much to you! Now hand over the tickets and cash, please:

Take insurance company owner Phil Adams of Bryan, Texas, whom Perry appointed to the board of regents of Texas A&M University in 2001 and reappointed in 2009.

Adams has contributed nearly $290,000 to Perry's gubernatorial campaigns. Between 2005 and 2009, Adams's company at times employed one or both of Perry's two children, then in their late teens or 20s, to do secretarial work. And over the years, he's given Perry, his wife Anita, and their children tickets to football and basketball games - including the 2007 Big 12 basketball tournament - and picked up the tab for their lodging and transportation to some of the games as well.

He would be the most corrupt president in American history. Which would be kind of funny to watch, but still.

[Image via AP]