The penal codes in Florence, Italy, are different from those in America, so it appears that a set of twins engaging in intercourse with the same man is not only legal, but encouraged. But with these Terrible Twins, it seems the crew of the most important sociological experiment of our time has finally met its match.

But before we can talk about Ugly Brittani and Busted Eriqua, the twin terrors of the University of Florida, we must first identify some of the guidos' vocabulary so we'll know just what the hell they're talking about.

• Lean Cuisine: A man who is less of a muscular "gorilla" and has a physique that is trim and toned. This should not be confused with one of JWOWW's dog's which has the same name, possibly after a trim and toned man that JWOWW was once attracted to.
• Twilight Zone: Just like the television show of old, this is a very dangerous area. It's when a guidette must walk unaccompanied by a female companion through an area teeming with horny men. It is much like walking a gauntlet, but, similar to the real Twilight Zone, guidettes who casually enter this space are known never to return.
• Twinning: When anyone, especially Charlie Sheen or The Situation, is hooking up with a set of identical twins at the same time. Money may or may not be involved in the transaction.
• Ménage à Twin: Having a three-way with two twins.
• Ménagerie: Using the traditional guido slang of using animal terms to describe sexual hijinks, these are the participants of any sort of group sex.

Now that we have plumbed the glossary for their terms about taboo intercourse with unattractive college students, let us look at our favorite subjects' behavior for the week.