Americans Hate America

Americans: what are they fed up with now? Mexicans? Thuggish pro athletes? All those potholes? Well, let's see, sez here... America itself.

In a new Gallup poll, only 11% of Americans expressed "satisfaction with the way things are going in the United States." That's the second-lowest reading in the past four decades, exceeded in pessimism only during the worst days of the 2008 financial crisis.

To put the figure in perspective: I bet more than 11% of Americans have masturbated to Smurfette. Hear our yawn-like roar, duly elected leaders! We are vaguely dissatisfied! Everybody pay us lip service, at once!

[Gallup]