Gilded dildo casket Donald Trump sure was peeved during his weekly call into Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends, today. Muammar Qaddafi, he's no good, sure, but why do the people of Libya now get to manage all of that sweet untapped brent crude under the sands of their own country? Can't NATO, meaning America, just sort of take it now?

Trump is apoplectic:

"You know, in the old days, when you won a war, to the victor go the spoils," Trump said, "why don't we take the oil?" "All those rebels are going to be richer than the people of this country because they're going to take all the oil!"

He needs to relax. Does he think our oil companies don't already have plans in the works for greater extraction from Libya's underdeveloped reserves? Just stop shouting and wait a few months, pal.

Another guest, Rob Lowe, hears all of this and asks Trump why he can't get back into the race, at least for a debate or two. Don't worry, Rob Lowe, Trump says. He's still closely watching the race, and he agrees that the debates so far have been "boring." This is difficult to disagree with. So why not come back for one debate, Donald? Why would you ever not do this?