'What I Saw Was Not a Penis. What I Saw Was Cancer'S

Phillip Seaton, the unlucky ducky whose bratwurst went bye-bye after his chopper doctor turned pecker wrecker, is finally having his day in court. Tell us, "Dr." John Patterson (pictured grinning with his high-priced attorney; do you find something funny, sir?), how did a simple circumcision become a member dismembering, leaving Phillip Seaton to wake up wangless without even a chance to bid tally-ho to his tallywhacker?

"What I saw was not a penis. What I saw was cancer," Patterson, a Frankfort urologist, testified in Shelby County Circuit Court.

Hurtful. Hurtful, hurtful words, sir. I would expect more from a medical professional who should be well acquainted with the perfectly normal variations of the human anatomy, which don't make one any less of a man. Phillip Seaton testified that "I pulled the dressing down, and I didn't see nothing...Then I came out of the restroom and I said, `I'm getting the hell out of this damn hospital.'"

As well he should have. An invisible willy's not risible, really.

[AP, photo via AP]