Facebook just filed plans to massively expand its campus into a largely self sufficient complex, complete with doctor's offices, laundry services, tribal "garages," and an open pit for roasting dead animals. Just in case the social network and its 27-year-old CEO didn't resemble Lord of the Flies enough already.
Facebook recently decided to relocate its 1,500 workers from Palo Alto, California to a former Sun Microsystems office in neighboring Menlo Park, which can legally accommodate 3,600 workers. The company just filed plans to expand and add to the new campus so it can accommodate 9,400 employees, according to the San Jose Mercury News, in part by erecting a new cluster of buildings across the freeway from the old Sun offices, and connecting the two clusters with an underground tunnel.
It sounds like the new "office" will be more like a barracks and rally grounds for Facebook's work-til-you-drop warrior culture, complete with a...
...two-story projection screen in the central courtyard of the East Campus, laundry services, an open pit barbecue and boutique coffee stand, and even a doctor's office. Facebook plans to install garage doors throughout the complex to echo a Silicon Valley touchstone — the startup garage — as a symbol of the creative, collaborative and scrappy culture Facebook hopes the new campus will embody.
There's no word yet on whether CEO Zuckerberg will personally kill the pigs and cows and goats and chickens and lobsters and Googlers and Winklevii roasted for his minions, per his custom, or whether the dress code in these "garages" will permit loincloths, or whether the Big Brother screen will ever feature a Two Minutes Hate.
But we'd lay good money that Facebook will eventually move this freaky cult compound to its own island via submarine (and, probably, via Peter Thiel). Which given the rapidly deteriorating state of this country would probably be wise.
[Photo via Getty]