Today we heard that for-profit colleges might be going the way of the dodo. Yay! Those places are kinda bunk. And their recruiters are so aggressive, as one commenter can tell you.
You gotta hand it to them for their tenacity, though. It takes moxie to pilot a soulless revenue machine for this long.
I was at a Sprint store when one of the floor models started ringing. I answered, naturally, because of the very real possibility that it was Jason Sudeikis calling to ask me out on some dates.
Me: Hi! I'm at Sprint!
Mysterious Caller: Excuse me?
Me: How did you get this phone number even? It's a floor model at a Sprint store. I was hoping you were Jason Sudeikis. Who is this?
Mysterious Caller: *awkward laugh that sounds like a handful of Canadian pennies being tossed down a sewer grate* Haha, well, the number just showed up on my list. My name is (REDACTED FOR TOP INTERNET SECURITY REASONS) and I'm calling with University of Phoenix. Since I've got you on the phone, hehehe, I might as well ask. Have you heard about our online learning programs?
Me: No thanks. I went to real school.
Mysterious Caller: Oh, hehe haha hehe, okay, hehe haha, well, hehe, is there anyone around you that looks like they might, hehehe haha, be interested?
Me: ARE YOU REAL? *hangs up*
And that's how I started dating Jason Sudeikis.
[Image via Shutterstock]