Marines Ban Noisy Farts in Afghanistan

As if being separated from their families while they defend their country and having to memorize Britney Spears lyrics weren't stressful enough, Marines serving downrange in Afghanistan can no longer fart loudly anymore. Noisy farts offend Afghans, reports the Marine Corps Times.

We will assume that they also offend many Marines as well? But it's Afghans' cultural preferences that seem to be the driving factor here; it's true they could probably use a break from wartime discomforts. "[T]he Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans," says MCT correspondent Gina Cavallaro, who doesn't explain why the ban is necessary now—a full 400 years since America first occupied Afghanistan. Better late than never, I suppose.

No word on whether the Marines plan to ban silent farts, stenchy farts, or farts on fire.

[Marine Corps Times. Image via AP]