In Which a Newsweek Writer Is Romantically Pursued by Shaquille O'Neal: 'I Want u or Rihanna'

Allison Samuels is a senior writer at Newsweek. Shaquille O'Neal is a very large former basketball player. Together, they are: super friends!

The Miami New Times has published a series of emails between Samuels and Shaq from 2008. Samuels helped to write Shaq's mom's autobiography, and has known him for years. The emails in question are part of a group of Shaq's emails that parties in a lawsuit in Miami are trying to make public record. The judge has barred that—but the New Times has apparently obtained them, anyhow.

So! In this relatively context-free batch of emails from 2008, Samuels first asks Shaq if she can set him up with the model Sessilee Lopez or actress Robinne Lee.

Shaq: "Sesslie aintdat fine whts robins last name"

Supermodel Sessillee Lopez aintdat fine! The things you can say when you're an NBA star. Then, Samuels suggests perhaps actress Lauren London, or Sharon Leal?

Shaq replies: "Loren is d wade's girl im not wrong sesslie aint my type u r."

Since his teammate is already cheating on his wife with Lauren London, according to Shaq, Shaq would prefer to simply hook up with Samuels herself. Samuels plays it off; Shaq then says of his teammate Dwyane Wade "He gottem all I want u or rihanna."

When was the last time a journalist got hit on by a guy who just dismissed a supermodel out of hand? Flattering! Congrats to Allison Samuel, on general principle. Still, Samuels demurs: "you know I'm very chatty and you said you didn't like that!!!!!" But Shaq persists: "Yeah but I told u had a crush on me and u wouldnt chat about us i kn o u."

"You just decided I had a crush on you huh??" Samuels replies. Classic female deflection tactic. The email dump ends there, so we still don't know how this romantic cliffhanger resolved itself. I've emailed Shaq and Samuels and we'll update if we hear back from them.

Allison Samuels did nothing wrong here, to be clear! Writers are people, too. And undeniably attractive.There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that famous celebrities—male and female alike—should not all be rushing out right now to seduce writers, whether they work for Newsweek or just some internet blog.

UPDATE: We received the following statement from Dwyane Wade's PR firm:

Hamilton,
I hope you are doing well.

I am Dwyane Wade's personal publicist and wanted to touch base about the recent post on your site regarding Dwyane Wade cheating on Gabrielle Union with Lauren London.

I am hoping you can update your post to include Dwyane's response to these allegations.

TWEET BY @DWYANE WADE

Really Really..This brings a new meaning 2 don't believe what u read..@MsLaurenLondon & I are like brother and sisters PERIOD..#Rumorkilled

Please let me know if this is possible. Many thanks for your help with this!

Best,
Amy

Amy Jacobs
Senior Vice President
Rubenstein Communications, Inc.


[Miami New Times. Photo: Bauer-Griffin, The Daily Beast]