Gay liberation and women's liberation come full circle today: In "The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name," gay Elle writer Seth Plattner announces that he likes to make out with women sometimes, not because he is bisexual, but because he really likes sexual attention. He's like a drunk sorority girl at a frat party, but gay and at a cool bar in New York. Here is his confession:
At the most surface level, I kissed girls because, hey, it's a good time. Kissing is a sensual experience, and I fancy myself as somewhat of a hedonist who'll take his pleasures where he can get them. I appreciate physicality for its own sake, relish close contact with other bodies. But did kissing a girl ever make me want more? Did it arouse me? No. Gross. (Kidding-I'm not one of those gay men who's disgusted by female anatomy.) Yet no matter how sexy the kiss, I just don't get turned on.
[F]or me the spectacle was nothing without the audience. I'm not saying I rallied crowds to watch the gay get the girl, but being in the vicinity of others not only didn't make me hesitate, it encouraged me. Once, Shannon and I went at it right in front of her boyfriend. In retrospect, he had every reason to want to throttle me for being such an asshole, but for some reason he didn't flinch. Still, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel victorious when, in that moment, she chose me over him.
He's the Katy Perry of gay men. ZZIINNGG!! (Redundant, get it?) Hetero-kissing also allows Seth Plattner to sexually dazzle his female co-workers. Remember, it's not sexual harassment because he's not sexually attracted to them!
Although my motivations may have been convoluted, in a weird way canoodling with women kept me alive to the fact that it's foolish to shut down my sexual self in the company of the opposite sex. It can be useful, even at work. Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to kiss my way to the top. It's more subtle than that. I work at a fashion magazine, where women are my bosses, colleagues, friends. And with all of them, I'm aware that my masculinity, my attractive guyness, is part of what I offer. Obviously, my professional skills are more important, but if a coworker or superior thinks I'm cute or captivating in some way, great! That gravitational pull is mine to leverage as I can.