You hear them all the time, you read them in blind items, and your friend at the bar knows someone who knows someone who definitely used to sleep with a guy who used to sleep with Bradley Cooper. Yes, we're talking about celebrity gay rumors. But when do you think they're actually true?
There is nothing you can do to escape people telling you that certain celebs are big old queens. Just look at what's going on with Will Smith. His rumored split from Jada Pinkett-
is dredging up all those rumors that they two were only married to serve as beards for each other. But you know what? I just don't think it's true.
That's the thing about this speculation. Smith never gave off the gay vibe—at least to me—but that's the problem with the gay rumor. It's all based on vibe and strange overheard stories and the fact that Smith is a Scientologist. While I firmly believe that the cult is covering up the sexual peccadilloes of some of its more famous members (like sauna aficionado John Travolta), I don't know if it's providing the same service for some of it's other members (like South Park target Tom Cruise).
I wrote a guide about how to know when the gay rumors are true back in January 2010, and most of the tenets still hold true. The whispering usually starts for a hot guy that homosexuals across America want to believe is gay so they think they actually have a shot with him. This usually happens with guys who aren't afraid to play gay (Jake Gyllenhaal, James Franco) or, even worse, play gay in a musical (Hugh Jackman). But, if these actors really were gay, wouldn't they avoid playing gay like the plague, so they could seem as straight as possible? But then there are the guys who aren't hot and the rumors probably mean there's an Advocate cover sometime in their future (Kevin Spacey, Jim Parsons). Those aren't really rumors, they're just faint traces of the truth.
Strangely, this doesn't happen to women except for women who are truly Sapphic, like Jodie Foster and Queen Latifah. But that doesn't mean that all rumors of lesbianism are true or false. Just ask Ellen Page. But just think of all the male stars you've heard might be gay: Ryan Seacrest, Hayden Christensen, George Clooney, Matthew Bomer, Gerard Butler, NASCAR's Jeff Gordon, Kenny Chesney, Zachary Quinto, rapper Drake, and even U.S. Rep Aaron Schock's teal belt. The list just goes on and on. They can't all be true, but they can't all be false either. Can they?
So, in the spirit of baseless speculation, who out there in Hollywood do you really think is gay? Who have you heard is gay? Did you believe it? What convinced you? Was it just because you wanted to sleep with him? Leave your gossip, rationale, and other gaydar pings in the comments and let's fight this out once and for all. And if anyone has any real evidence that anyone in Tinseltown (or the Beltway) is a card-carrying homosexual let me know.
[Images via Getty and Bauer-Griffin]