Newlywed Stoners Arrested for Shoplifting Food for Their Own Reception

Arthur Phillips and Brittany Lurch (ha!) were married on August 18, and set their wedding reception for 5:30pm on August 20th. That same afternoon they walked into a Pennsylvania supermarket, filled their cart with $1,000 worth of food, and walked out without paying. What a way to start a marriage!

The store called the cops, naturally, and officers arrested the pair. They then found a marijuana pipe in the couple's car. Aside from both facing misdemeanor charges of retail theft, Lurch was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia as well as not changing her awful last name when she had the chance. God, have these two not ever heard of gift registry? I'm sure you can register at Stop and Shop these days for some beer, wine, cake, and crudite platters. Oh, and Heluva Dip. That shit is bangin'.