What Ever Happened to Those White House Solar Panels?

Last October, the Obama administration announced a plan to place "photovoltaic solar collectors and a solar hot water heater" atop the White House roof, where panels haven't been since that jerk Ronald Reagan ripped off the ones that Jimmy Carter installed. The goal was to have them installed by the beginning of this summer. They are nowhere to be seen. We demand our symbolic acknowledgement of alternative energy now!

The Energy Department tells McClatchy that "the project is mired in the 'competitive procurement process,'" which doesn't tell us anything, but maybe tells us that the White House is deeply sensitive to the image of buying alternative energy equipment from companies with which it has a close relationship. So it just gets mired in this goody-two-shoes "competitive procurement process" forever.

Other inquiries lead to bureaucratic inter-communications-departments chaos:

The National Park Service, which put solar panels on White House outbuildings during the administration of President George W. Bush, said it couldn't comment on why the previous installation was completed more quickly. It directed questions to the White House, where press spokesman Clark Stevens deferred to the Department of Energy, where spokeswoman Terry stuck to her original statement.

If Pat Robertson were here, he'd tell us that this is a symbol of God not wanting solar panels. Fortunately, Pat Robertson is elsewhere.