There are a bunch of easy, stupid, reflexive comments that people often make in an attempt to be funny. Although none of them are funny at all, there's one knee-jerk chuckle-chaser that really pisses me off.
There's nothing worse than a commenter who simply remarks "I'd hit it," in a post. Sometimes this is meant to be funny because the picture is of Betty White, the Montauk Monster, or someone (or something) else that one would assume people would not actually want to hit, like, you know, any of the Real Housewives. While this joke is always unoriginal, boring, and uninspired, there's one commenter who took it from dumb and banal to majorly offensive. That's why, this week, dfwtrucker68 is getting the axe.
He left the insufferable "I'd hit it," in a comment about a 15-year-old girl who faked being kidnapped. Really, buddy? A 15 year-old? If you meant it sincerely, then you are just a disgusting pervert. If you meant it ironically, then you're the worst kind of comedian, peddling in jokes about abuse that few find funny.
Oh, and you had an accomplice in your crime. As an unstarred commenter, dfwtrucker68's comment would have remained grey and unseen by most readers, except someone with a star promoted it. That someone was CincyCapell. Having a star is serious business. We trust our starred commenters to find the best and brightest comments and promote them so they're brought to everyone's attention. If you're going around just promoting things willy nilly, including unfunny jabs like this one, then you aren't doing your job. For aiding and abetting bad commenting, CincyCapell is also being banned. May that be a lesson to everyone out there with a star to think twice before you hit that big thumbs up button.
Looks like it's you two who are getting hit now—but with the banhammer.
A Few Notes & How to Submit Nominations
All decisions about commenter executions are final. There is no appeal, though bribery is sometimes acceptable depending on the severity of the offense and the amount of the bribe. Executed commenters may be allowed back after a suitable period of exile.
Because this process is to better the community, citizen's arrests for unruly commenters are welcome and encouraged. Executions can be based on a single incident or general and prolonged suckiness. Please submit your nominations to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please include your rationale for execution and a link to the specific comment (you can get the direct link by clicking on the comment's time stamp) for evidence. Any commenter who submits a successful accusation for execution will be rewarded and deputized with a gold star. Happy commenting, and you better hit it before you quit it!