They just don't make 'em like this anymore:
University Medical Center said Monday that [86-year-old] Leroy Luetscher of Green Valley was working in his yard on July 30 when he dropped a pair of pruning shears, which landed point-side down in the ground.
When Luetscher went to pick them up, he lost his balance and fell face-down on the handle. The handle penetrated his eye socket and went down into his neck, resting on the external carotid artery. Half the shears were left in his head, while the other half was sticking out.
The AP adds that doctors were able to save Luetscher's eye, and he's now just dealing with "slight swelling in his eyelids and minor double vision."