Is there any kind of crime better than the crime you can imagine being committed by a good-looking and diverse team of criminals cracking stilted jokes on, say, USA or TNT? No, there is not! And so it is with the "Sleeping Gas Bandits":

Police in the billionaires' retreat of Porto Cervo on Sardinia's Costa Smeralda believe thieves who made off with €315,000 [$455,000] in cash and jewels used sleeping gas on their victims to ensure they were not disturbed during the break-in.

Similar robberies have been reported this summer in France and Spain.

The burglaries in Porto Cervo, which took place last week, were only disclosed by police on Tuesday. The thieves sneaked into the rented holiday villa of a Milanese pharmaceuticals tycoon and left with a haul worth around [$433,000]. The businessman's 42-year-old wife, her mother and their daughter were all in the house, along with a servant, but no one heard the burglars, even though they took the windows off their hinges to get in.

This is why we need to stop taxing the super-rich! Their shit is always getting jacked by means of elaborate ruses. Porto Cervo, The Guardian writes, "was built in the 1960s by Prince Karim Aga Khan and it has long been a playground for the super-rich." (Not a real playground! A metaphorical one.) Earlier this summer, someone "altered" the Costa Smerelda sign to read "Costa Troppo," which in Italian means, "Thees beech, it cost-a too much."

In any event, similar tactics were used in Europe last month, but on "caravans and camper vans," and not obscenely rich people, which doesn't sound very basic cable-y. Robbing billionaires in their gorgeous seaside villas, though? You could call the show Asleep or The Sandmen or something! Michael Keaton could star as the ringleader! Sleeping Gas Bandits, you are missing out on a big "consulting producer" payday here!

[Guardian; image of Porto Cervo via Getty]