Man Arrested for Humping Inflatable Pool Raft in Alleyway

A man in Hamilton, Ohio, was arrested on Sunday when he got caught humping a pink plastic pool raft in an alleyway behind a Dumpster. Oh, and this wasn't Edwin Tobergta's first arrest for the same offense either. He apparently has a plastic fetish!

Tobertga apparently found the raft in an alley behind someone's house where it was being kept. Why it was being kept there and not in, say, a pool or other body of water, I don't know. The owner of the raft spotted Tobertga making his amorous intentions and yelled at him to stop. Tobertga fled with his new bride, hoping to elope. The cops eventually found him at his house, and they arrested him for the fifth time for doing similar things. I guess when there's a crazy guy who humps shit in public in town, everyone knows where to find him. When he was being hauled away Tobertga pleaded for help because he has a problem with this kind of thing. He also cried a lot because he was sad to be separated from his new lover.

When the press talked to Tobertga's grandmother she said, "He has a lot of mental problems and he's always had a fascination for plastic. That's just it. That's all of it." Aw, that actually makes this story pretty sad. If only we could get him a Real Doll (NSFW) and convince him to use her in his own home. Then he'd just be another boring, legal deviant!