Being a Gawker commenter is a privilege, not a right. As such, we expect our esteemed commenters to display certain skills. They must be smart, witty, capable of making a sound argument, and they should also be able to find the shift key.
This week we're culling a bunch of "cap slackers" from the ranks of the commentariat. These are the people who absolutely refuse to use capital letters in their comments, or use them sparingly and incorrectly. While this might be acceptable in other corners of the internet, it is not here. And proper spelling and punctuation is expected of anyone who wants his (or her) commenting account approved.
Yes, that means you must also capitalize the first letter in your comments. Why do so many of you follow the rules except for the very first consonant or vowel? I know you're excited and you have something important to say, but that initial capital letter is the most critical one of all! Here are the folks we're making an example of:
May this be a warning to all of you. Cap slacking in any capacity will no longer be tolerated—and that includes those of you who think it's cute to go all lower case or all CAPS LOCK in the comments in an attempt to make some sort of statement or lame joke. Let's all look forward to this Great Shift Forward in the comments, shall we?
A Few Notes & How to Submit Nominations
All decisions about commenter executions are final. There is no appeal, though bribery is sometimes acceptable depending on the severity of the offense and the amount of the bribe. Executed commenters may be allowed back after a suitable period of exile.
Because this process is to better the community, citizen's arrests for unruly commenters are welcome and encouraged. Executions can be based on a single incident or general and prolonged suckiness. Please submit your nominations to email@example.com.
Please include your rationale for execution and a link to the specific comment (you can get the direct link by clicking on the comment's time stamp) for evidence. Any commenter who submits a successful accusation for execution will be rewarded and deputized with a gold star. Happy commenting, and we tip our caps to you!