Giant Eagles 'Could Target Children'

The Scottish government recently imported 14 sea eagles from Norway, to reintroduce the giant bird of prey into the wilds of Scotland. Unfortunately, they chose areas not quite wild enough, according to the Scottish Gamekeepers Association, which is calling for an inquiry into the feathered monsters with wingspans of up to eight feet:

These creatures are being released into what is a comparatively densely populated area so they will come into contact with humans on a daily basis. That will instil habituated behaviour and remove what should be a healthy fear of humans. There are reports of buzzards which have obviously undergone this desensitisation and this has resulted in them attacking people. This could pose a serious threat in the future.

Will these very large creatures differentiate between a small child and more natural quarry?

A rival non-profit says this is "alarmist nonsense," but SGA, an organization that "unites all gamekeepers, stalkers, ghillies, wildlife managers and rangers," will not let up. And if the ghillies are worried, then so am I.

Do you think a film treatment of Scotland's plague of kid-killing eagles be better as a sequel to The Birds, Sharktopus, or The Secret of Roan Inish? Yes, I know that last one is technically about Ireland and seals, but don't you want to see a giant eagle peel off its skin and reveal a sexy lady inside, prompting the male romantic lead to be torn between whether he kills, fucks, or plays fetch with her? And then she dive-bombs a kindergartener and rips its small intestine out with her teeth? Beware the sea eagle she-devil. [Telegraph, Sea eagle in Norway via AP]