Foreign Losers Declare America the Coolest Nation Ever

The people at Badoo, a social networking site largely used by non-Americans, asked some 30,000 users to rate the world's coolest nation, and guess what? They chose America. OF COURSE they did. America wins, coolly!

While Spain ranked coolest in Europe, and Brazil took the top spot for Latin America, the United States won the grand supreme crown as hippest, hottest, and... something-else-that-begins-with-H-est in the whole wide world. And goddamn it, we deserve it! As a marketing director for Badoo told Reuters, there's lots of cool here:

America boasts the world's coolest leader, Obama; the coolest rappers, Jay-Z and Snoop Dogg; and the coolest man in technology, Steve Jobs of Apple, the man who even made geeks cool.

Uh, wait, Obama, Snoop Dogg, and Steve Jobs are the reasons America is cool? That's it? Hm, uh, well... OK, fine, we'll take it. Yeah! We'll take it. Those middle-aged dudes are cool!

The least cool country in the world, according to the foreign weirdos of Badoo, was Belgium, because duh, Belgium is the worst. Sure they have waffles and french fries, but eating isn't cool! Stupid Belgians.

Anyway, let's list some more ways that America, despite its terrible states, is the coolest:

  • Cults
  • Serial killers
  • The Williamsburg Bridge
  • Sneakers
  • Phyllis Diller
  • Miller High Life
  • Sweatshirts

How else are we the coolest??

[Reuters, via The Awl; Image via Shutterstock]