Madonna Haughtily Dismisses Gaga's 'Obsession' With Her?S

Madonna takes a passive-aggressive swipe at Lady Gaga. Ryan Gosling makes out with Eva Mendes. Jake Gyllenhaal snuggles a Twilight star. A wild man breaks into Celine Dion's home and pillages for pastries. Wednesday gossip is mad for madeleines, moonstruck for doughnuts, cuckoo for choux.

  • You know it's a passive-aggressive diss when it begins "I have no comment, but…" Stumping in Europe for the movie she directed, Madonna reportedly told a French magazine she doesn't get why Lady Gaga keeps going Single White Female on her: "As for Lady Gaga, I have no comment to make about her obsessions having to do with me because I don't know whether her behavior is rooted in something deep and meaningful, or superficial." Between this and the hydrangea incident, Madge is on a rampage of arched-eyebrow judgment, and I think I like it? Madonna's publicist denies that her client slammed Gaga, but I really think she should let this one roll. Miss Congeniality is always a runner-up. [E!, DailyMail, image via Getty]
  • Speaking of inopportune but-s: Excerpt from Kate Hudson's estranged father's memoir: "I love Kate, but… she is a spoiled brat in my eyes and at the end of the day, she should meet her little sister. I should meet my grandchild and she should help her grandmother." He blames "parental alienation" for Kate's disgust for him (she once said he "doesn't know me from a hole in the wall") but I'm pretty sure, after reading just a couple sentences, that I know exactly why she dislikes him. [Radar]
  • A wild man broke into Celine Dion's Montreal home, poured a bath, and ate some pastries in her kitchen, say Canadian authorities. "It's rare that you see this, there was no theft, nothing stolen, broken, or messed up. This whole thing, well, it's special." [Montreal Gazette, TMZ]
  • Madonna Haughtily Dismisses Gaga's 'Obsession' With Her?SRyan Gosling and Eva Mendes swapped spit at Disneyland. When a former mouseketeer engages in foreplay at a Disney theme park, is he working through his psychosexual angst, or retreating from it? (See also: Bleo, Grox, Zellmos) [Us]
  • Speaking of snuggling celebrities: Jake Gyllenhaal smothered Twilight star Anna Kendrick with his chest at a Subway sandwich store. Can't focus on commentary, too disturbed by the wraparound sunglasses, camouflage cargo pants, stinky bread, and hey, is that a wedding band? Method preparation to play the meathead you hated from high school? [Popsugar]
  • One of the Pawn Stars stars ran up an $11,000 bill at a nightclub in Tunica, Mississippi, thereby tripling the GDP of Tunica. Now go bang your head against a wall and scream at yourself for a while. [TMZ]
  • Madonna Haughtily Dismisses Gaga's 'Obsession' With Her?SSpeaking of Gaga, Harper's Bazaar would like to introduce you to "The Real Lady Gaga." The one they put on the cover five months ago was the fake one. I think I liked the fake one better? [Bazaar]
  • Michael Bay's girlfriend has a nice butt. [TMZ]
  • Miley Cyrus interviewed Joan Jett for V, and they bonded. Miley: "People see me as this perfect Disney star, and the moment I put out a record that says 'I'm not 11 years old anymore,' people look down on me. That's why I have always looked up [to] you. When you came out people were shocked that there was a chick that wanted to rock as hard as the guys." Joan: "I was thinking to myself... how difficult it must be to lead your life as a teenager with the paparazzi and the amount of press you're surrounded by. I thought to myself, 'Wow that was kind of a blessing that we didn't have that stuff when I was growing up in The Runaways.'" [V via People]
  • Newlywed royal and competitive equestrian Zara Phillips would rather have horses than children. (For now.) [People]
  • The family of Real Housewives star Russell Armstrong thinks he was not a suicide victim, but a murder victim, and has reportedly hired a "private dick" to investigate. Nice word choice, TMZ. [TMZ]
  • Are you curious how Charlie Sheen's three successive birthday parties with warring factions of his family went? No? Don't click the link. He's 46, by the way. [E!]