Hollywood Still Determined to Ruin Absolutely Everything

The jokers in La La Land are going after yet another childhood favorite. Also today: good news for two TV shows, great news for two actors, and sexy news for theatergoers.

  • Hollywood! Land of good ideas! Land of new ideas! Everyone knows that Hollyweird is home to the nation's most innovative thinkers, so it should come as no surprise that the brain trust in Tinseltown has decided to go ahead and make a sequel to Tim Burton's 1988 classic Beetlejuice. Yup! Superproducer scion David Katzenberg and Pride and Prejudice with Zombies scribe Seth Grahame-Smith have teamed up to produce some shit together and this sequel is thought to be first on their list. So that's great. The guy behind The Hard Times of R.J. Berger and an author of gimmick-lit are going to put their totally awesome stamp on a weird, whimsical world that in no way needs expanding upon or altering in any way. Yay movies! [Deadline]
  • Here, as a palate cleanser, some good Hollywood news. Building on the success of Bridesmaids, Deputy Clementine herself, Wendi McLendon-Covey, has been cast in Steven Soderbergh's stripper movie Magic Mike. Hopefully she plays the deadpan, depressed lady who announces each new male dancer. Wouldn't that be good for her? That'd be good for her. Make it happen, Soderbergh. [THR]
  • Rejoice, fans of biker gang melodrama! Your beloved Son of Anarchy premiered last night to the largest audience its ever had. Almost 5 million gearheads (can you use that term for motorcyclists?) tuned in to listen to Charlie Hunnam's sonorously terrible American accent and Ron Perlman's lupine growling. So this show probably isn't going anywhere for a while! Vroom vroom, everybody! Bang bang, too! Tough dudes bein' dudes gonna be tough foreva. [EW]
  • Rejoice, fans of nerd TV! And rejoice, oh you many David Strathairniacs out there. For Syfy has decided to renew its series Alphas for a second season. For the uninitiated, Alphas is about a team of detectives who use the alphabet to solve crimes. Right? I mean, I haven't seen it, but that's what it's about, right? David Strathairn takes off his glasses and says "Looks like we're dealing with the later K today, ladies and germs..." It's basically Mathnet but with letters. Yup. That is what that show is, and now there will be more of it. [TV Line]
  • Remember Eriq La Salle? He was that guy from ER who always seemed like a jerk, but maybe only because his character was such a jerk? Man was that guy a jerk! Always frowning and being stern with everyone. Just such a jerk. Anyhoo, La Salle, who is probably not actually a jerk, has been cast as a recurring character, some sort of "medical detective," on the new ghost medicine show A Gifted Man. (That's the one with Patrick Wilson and Jennifer Ehle.) So good for him. Now if we could just get his old TV girlfriend Michael Michelle some work, we'd really be in business. Sigh. Remember ER? [THR]
  • Broadway fans, set your phasers to swooooonnnnnfart. Once Daniel Radcliffe dances his last little person softshoe in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, stepping into the role will be none other than sweet-croonin' hotbod Nick Jonas, of acid-metal frottagecore band The Jonas Brothers. Yipes. 46th Street is going to be a squishy, screaming disaster every night around 10:30 pm, isn't it? Even more so than it is now. Nick, pet, don't worry. If you need somewhere downtown, out of the scene, to lay low, my door is open. Just bring your brother Joe, a liter of Evan Williams, and an open mind and everything will be fine. Just fine. Anyway, I- Hm? What's that officer? Ah yes, jail. Of course. I guess I should have expected as much. Off I go. Avenge me! [Deadline]