Recondite Hot Dog Statue Unnerves Council Bluffs, Iowa

On the morning of September 2, Council Bluffs, Iowa residents became concerned. Concerned about the strange man who was lurking across from the school bus stop on Benton Street, dressed as a hot dog. The police arrived. And were SHOCKED.

The sinister man was actually a statue, of a hot dog, that did not even have a man inside. (A statue exactly like the one pictured, except that the Council Bluffs statue is missing its arms. WHY?) What was this manless statue hiding? And why was it lurking around the bus stop, where any child could get an eyeful of its weiner? Police took the hot dog statue into custody, to be on the safe side. The local press was not far behind.

"Nobody knows anything about it, other than that we have it in our property (section)," said Council Bluffs Police Department Capt. Terry LeMaster...

Even before the question could be asked LeMaster, a 28-year veteran with the department, said, "No, I have not seen anything like this before."

Mighty fast with the denial there, LeMaster. You've never seen anything like it, eh? Not even on those long, lonely overnight stakeouts, where a hot dog that size sure could keep you warm? We'll take your word for it.

Call Council Bluffs police at (712) 328-4717 to claim your hot dog statue, Jim Newell.

[Daily Nonpareil via AP. Photo: Digital Sextant/ Flickr]